Saving Money on Cable

We have cable for our Internet. The only other option this side of the overpass is satellite, and there are too many cloudy days for that.

When our cable guy came to hook us up, he and Ethan got to talking and the guy said to call the cable company and tell them we thought the bill was too high (leaving his insider info out of it, of course).

The job was handed down to me. I hate this sort of thing. The last time Ethan had me do this, it was for a radio station giveaway. I was the 9th caller, had the correct listing of their last nine songs and artists (via Ethan), and won $96.00. And was so intimidated I forgot to leave my name.

Do you know what it's like to be listening to the radio to hear yourself win $96 and then hear the DJ say, "Uh, we have a winner, but sweetheart, you got so excited you forgot to leave your name! Give us a call back, sweetie."

And then when I did call back and did leave my name and then heard them announce me as the winner and the byte of me giving the answer, I sounded like a frenetic twelve-year old. And I HATE that when he said, "What are you going to spend your money on?"... I answered, "A baby-sitter!" I meant a baby-sitter for my son, because I was a mature grown woman, but it totally sounded like I was going to hire my own baby-sitter. You know, because I'm a goody-two shoes twelve-year old who likes to see my parents get out once in a while.

But back to my story. I hate calling and saying things like, "Yes, I KNOW that the previous call may have been recorded and that you clearly spelled out how much the installation and monthly fee would be and that there were no promotions running and there was no way you could lower the price and I thought then that it was too high but what were we going to do when I gotta have me some Netflix to sleep to and my husband is a pastor who must have access to his email for church matters BUT now that I see the bill in person it seems really steep and are you SURE you can't lower that?"

So I didn't say all that.

I gave a very shaky, "Um, yes, I was just looking at this bill and it seems a little {SQUEAK} high???"

Whereupon the customer service rep said, "Absolutely it looks high! Man, they didn't even put you on a promotion? Let me get you on a promotion. How does this sound? [He then gives a number less than half what I was paying a month.] The thing is, this is a one-year promotion. Now that means you just give us a call in 11 months and tell us you want to be put on another promotion. Will that work for you?"

I didn't even know you could ask to be put on a promotion. I was just planning on living on beans-n-rice-n-chocolate chips while we paid our cable bill.

Huh. I told him he was underpaid. He agreed. We hung up, and now I pay less than half of what I was paying.

And that definitely works for me!

Those Twinkling Eyes

It seems like the last few ... maybe even the last MANY ... months have been very full of this guy. True, there are two almost-8-mos.-olds crawling around and pulling up on things. But even combined, their efforts at thwarting my day's plans pale in comparison to the work of this one.

He's two, and every bit of two. The problem is not his two-ness (though I won't cry to see it go); it's his independence. He thinks he can do everything -- dress himself, get himself snacks, dispose of the stink bugs that have invaded our house, rearrange the living room videos, pull out band-aids for every possible imagined owie (he even has owies on imagined body parts!), go potty, and change the babies' diapers.

!!!

I don't think I need to go into details. You can use your imagination. Just so long as you understand he thinks he is fully capable of doing all of these things without any help AND without any adult's knowledge that he is undertaking these tasks.

Two dangerous phrases to hear him say are, "Just a minute" and "I'll be right back."

Those two phrases mean he is not or soon will not be in your presence. And as hard as it is to have a 2-yr. old by your side when you're trying to school (cook/clean/fold/nap), it is much harder to not have him by your side.

I don't get a lot Done during the day, but I sure get a lot Undone.

Does Anyone Like "24"?

So we're waiting on some Netflix in the mail, and we've used up the Watch It Now series that we like...and we started watching "24." I know the show has a following, but...

WHY???

I Can. Not. Stand. this show. It's such a snoozer! (Which, admittedly, means very little when I am the one saying that. I snooze through every show.) Bad acting, bad writing, the characters say each others' names every single time they are talking to them..."But David, you know that I am your wife. And David, I would never do something to hurt you. Don't you believe me, David?"

But since we've started it, my husband is committed to finishing this season. Please, tell me...does it get any better? Should I keep trying to stay awake or just give it up with a clear conscience?

And if it doesn't, do you have any suggestions?

Church with Littles

Well. Amy said it best. (And she usually does!)

Read it. Laugh if you get it, try to sympathize (and give thanks!)  if you don't.

Eight of these devilish smiles in the pew next to me...

But at the very least, rub the shoulders of any "single" (for the sermon at least) mom at church, tell her you love her beautiful family, offer to have some of her children sit with you (and then don't hold their weird just-'cuz-you're-a-homeschooler-doesn't-mean-you-use-your-bulletin-for-a-tissue behavior against her) and maybe even stock the end of her pew with rags and a trash bag.

I guarantee she'll need it, for one reason or another, every sermon.

And if she doesn't, I sure do!

Table Chores, or Get Me Out of the Kitchen

After grumbling to my husband about the number of able-bodied persons who mysteriously disappear right after supper, I decided it was time to re-implement our Table Chores. These are simple jobs that do not change. Each child knows what his chore is, and as long as I remember to issue the charge, "Table Chores!" they get done quickly. This is one area where the children really can be a big help. The five minutes that we take to clear up together easily saves me a half hour of work.


Ethan and I refrigerate the leftovers, transfer the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher, and sweep. I could delegate these chores to children as well, but I'm a little too picky about these tasks.






Table Chores. These really work for me!

It'll Grow Back

Mom asked what my haircut looked like. This is it, Mom.

And my, what huge hands I have.

I went in just for more layers. She said, "No, your face is long, not wide. If you wear it in a ponytail all the time anyway, why not go for short?" I acquiesced with her reasoning but decided during the final rinse that I would go back to the original plan. Only I'm polite, and I waited for a break in her monologue to back out of the shearing.

The "break" came after her first cut. Which was quite a bit above my shoulders.

And I have to say, I think I was right. My face is decidedly wide. My new strategy is to stand next to Conan O'Brien in pictures, and then it won't look so wide.

I think what most irritates me is that it is SUCH an, "I'm in my thirties and have eight kids" cut. Because, you know, I am in my thirties and I do have eight kids, but we don't need to broadcast that from the top of my head.

And is that an optical illusion, or is one of my eyes looking up in the corner while the other is looking straight to the side? Because if they are really doing that, then I think I may have developed a talent (???) that could serve me well with these children...

A Disclaimer

My husband is afraid people might mis-take the last post. They might think it was a serious post. They might think, "He is a pastor. He is serious. He loves Jesus and wears a visor to prove it."

Before I waste my breath go any further, does anyone think that?