Owa Tagu Siam

My own words come back to mock me. A year ago, I never would have dreamt I would be here, in Montana, the icicles dripping and the trees occasionally relieving themselves of snow, powdery white cascading down.

    

It's April, for crying out loud. And I am. Crying out loud, that is.

     

It's not that I'm an itchy gardener or anxious for the spring insects (which is what I guess makes for itchy gardeners). Honestly? I'm too lazy for all this snow. The thing is, snow is just so much WORK. The shoveling, the scraping, the boots and coats, the puddles of melting snow on the floor of the van every time we get in.

  

Getting out is not simple. We can't even take a decent walk, because no stroller will make it through this stuff and our backs can't handle bouncy, whiny kids who snot up our hair and try to acrobatically crawl out of the back carrier.

 

I think I need to get creative.

  

We'll start with today. I've got some rather tame pranks up my sleeve. I'll let you know how those work out. Unless they don't, in which case I'll preserve my dignity and keep mum. (Every one else's dignity is up for grabs, though.)

  

Oh, and the title of this post -- it's great for having 7-12 year olds say those words fast. They won't get it but you will. And then they will, and they'll groan and roll their eyes and it's so worth it. I live for preteen eye rolls.

  

And then you can apologize and say, "Hey, do you know how to keep a turkey in suspense?"

  

And walk away.