My friend Mary directed me to this post by Glennon Melton of the Huffington Post this morning, and I am so glad she did.
Here's a snippet:
Every time I'm out with my kids -- this seems to happen:An older woman stops us, puts her hand over her heart and says something like, "Oh, Enjoy every moment. This time goes by so fast."Everywhere I go, someone is telling me to seize the moment, raise my awareness, be happy, enjoy every second, etc, etc, etc.I know that this message is right and good. But, I have finally allowed myself to admit that it just doesn't work for me. It bugs me. This CARPE DIEM message makes me paranoid and panicky. Especially during this phase of my life - while I'm raising young kids. Being told, in a million different ways to CARPE DIEM makes me worry that if I'm not in a constant state of intense gratitude and ecstasy, I'm doing something wrong.
I don't want to rob you of the chance to laugh, empathize, and be enlightened by her insight, so I'll stop there. But you go read it. Really. It's so good.
And thanks again, Mary!
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Thought I'd introduce myself... My husband is a pastor and just accepted a call to serve with the OPC in Mbale, Uganda... We also have 8 children, ages 10 and under. We call it a happy state of chaos. :) Love your blog and just added it to my list! :)
ReplyDeleteI read this yesterday, too! I forget who, but someone posted a link on facebook. It was sooo good. :) And I'm not even a mommy yet!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree, I rarely Carpe Deim and I so want to buy some mommy's groceries some day. I will also bring her a coffee. Maybe I will hand out coffee cards and say don't worry you will survive.
ReplyDeleteI totally don't Carpe Deim and why is it that someone says it to you on the worst possible days. The days when your son repeatly licks the cart in Target and he has just recovered from the stomach flu, your daughter is stalking down the aisle like a cat whose fur has been rubbed the wrong way and your husband has to spend the entire evening and night in the library writing a paper on something you aren't sure is even relevant to the life as a pastor.
ReplyDeleteWow! Thanks for sharing this! I can SOOOO relate to this. I try to enjoy some moments while my children are little, but some are best forgotten, like my 2 year old flinging her baby sister's dirty diaper across the room or sitting on her tiny newborn baby sister, or everyone being sick at the same time or 3 children 2 & under screaming at the same time or.....well I could certainly go on and on so I'll just stop right there. I'm sure you can relate to the chaos and yes, I want to be one of those women who says something a bit more helpful or like previous poster just buys her a coffee...I know I could sure use that kind of encouragement some days.
ReplyDeleteThe free groceries and coffee sound so good right now...but I wonder how I'd REALLY take it in the moment? You know, I think I would honestly probably be offended. Or discouraged, like "Even they think I'm doing a lousy job at this." Or too distracted to notice what someone was saying to me.
ReplyDeleteI think one of the nicest things people do for me is to talk to my children. "You must be...FIVE?" or "You have pink shoelaces! I love pink shoelaces! Do you think your shoes would fit my feet?" or, to the crying toddler, "That's how I feel about shopping! Are you just biding your time until you get home to your afternoon mocha, too?" Something about a stranger looking my kids in the eyes and talking to them usually stops them in their tracks. Even when they refuse to smile back, they usually stop the fussing.