Growing Up

My five-year old wore a bra for the first time yesterday.

   

Just so you're not misled, she's a relatively normal five-year old. I mean, she's not overly endowed or anything.

   

But the night before, we had had friends over for dinner, and their twelve-year old left about four good-sized bags of hand-me-down clothing. Yesterday morning, Lily (the five-year old) got to the clothes before I did.  We all loaded into the car to head to the farmers' market and other various places. At one of the stops, I noticed she looked a little . . . bumpy.

  

"Lily? How many shirts do you have on?" I asked.

  

"Well, I have this one," she said, pointing to her blue striped shirt. "And under it I have this," she said, pulling the spaghetti strap of a hot pink tank top. "And under that, I have this," she said, pulling the thin strap of a . . . well, I guess it's a . . . is that a bra?

  

"Oh. OK," I said, trying not to laugh.

   

When we got home, I told Ethan that Lily had on quite a few articles of clothing.

  

"Yeah," Lily said to me. "It took me a while, but then I finally figured out that little thing was a num-num shirt."

   

Uh-huh. You've got it all figured out. And you've got the vocabulary to prove it.

        

 

A New School Year

A new school year means, for us, a new routine. Far from being the structured mother, I have always been a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of gal, and that HAS worked. However, seeing how I have spent the last four months as little more than a puking couch potato, the start of school means there are several other areas of life that must be ordered if I have any hope of maintaining a school schedule.

My standards aren’t terribly high. I have only one child so far that Montana law dictates must be schooled – our seven-year old, Benjamin. His workload is, I feel, a reasonable one for him. We don’t go for the packaged curricula: part of the joy of homeschooling is tailoring the schooling to my child, and there’s no way a packaged program can do that. (And so then for what would I be paying all that money? For busy work? I think yes.) It's just not for us. I do have friends who use boxed curricula and love them. But I know I wouldn't.

Our five-year old, Lily, will continue to work on reading – we do about 15-20 minutes a day and call it good. Because she would have it no other way, she will also be included in the history time and, along with everyone else, in Circle Time.

As I started perusing our eclectic gathering of school material, I began realizing that this year is going to take some more formal structuring on my part. While the two oldest are able to stay out of trouble (for the most part), they are also capable of being responsible for far more than they have been. And while they are busy with chores or school, there are still four others who are busy in other, less admirable endeavors. Two four-year olds, a two-year old, and a 14-month old do not an organized party make. And, Lord willing, their number will be added to in February, when two newborns will join the ranks of the Clueless.

So I did it. I bit the bullet and wrote a ton of stuff down. I’m still tweaking, but we have a Master Routine, chore lists for each child, and a rough outline of the year’s courses. My goal is for the household to run as smoothly as it can without my input. I AM here and able to give input, but the more the children can be held accountable without my having to initiate every chore, the better.

I began by upping my fortitude with help from some of my favorite sites: Preschoolers and Peace, Pleasant View Schoolhouse, and Large Family Logistics (here and her older blog here). I reminded myself that less is more: more planning is better, but less “formal” schoolwork and busywork is also far better. I don’t agree with those that start their children’s schooling too early or that teach a course because “the schools teach it to their kids in first grade.” I was a teacher in a “real” school – a private one, even – and I am convinced that for the most part teachers impart a bunch of bologna.

The main points that I tried to keep at the forefront of my mind:

1. Less is more.
2. Consistency, consistency, consistency. If we can get in 2 pages of math a day, great. If we get stuck on a concept, OK. We'll work on it again tomorrow. It's much more important that we work on it again tomorrow, spending time to try to understand. But not spending too much time. A little done regularly is better than a lot done sporadically or too much done too often.
3. Morning chores before school. If we can get the basics of the housework out of the way, we will all be much more able to focus on schooling. There will be less for the littles to get into, the washing machine can work without me, and we don't have to dread the work after school.
4. What are the littles doing? It is very important that I have a plan for what they are doing while I am working with the older children. They need to have a "job" ALL THE TIME for which they are responsible. Sometimes their "job" will be to color at the table next to us (NO CRAYONS LEAVE THE TABLE UNDER PENALTY OF DISCIPLINE AND AN EARLY NAP).
5. Variety - be mindful of attention spans. After we have done bookwork, we need to do something a little more active. The same goes for the littles. Each day they have a different activity assigned - they only color one day a week. Also, my time has to be carefully divided between the olders and the littles. After Ben does math, he helps me do the lunch prep work and then sits down to do his copywork while I read to the littles (read, and tickle, and play "don't take that book away from me!"). Then he plays outside with the littles while Lily and I do her reading (just 15 minutes). Then the littles come inside to do table work while Ben and Lily have history. Does that make sense? He sits, he does something active, he sits, he does something active, he sits ... And the same goes for the littles. They listen to me read (while they wiggle and dance and whatever else), they play outside, they "work" at the table (or in their highchairs) ...
6. No overscheduling. Because of the ages of our children and what I can realistically expect them to contribute and what they realistically need from me (a happy mommy who can play and love on them), my schedule is relatively loose. (I'll be glad to share it if you want to see it, but I won't force it on anybody!)       

I’m excited. I just started the children with their chores today (they’ve always had chores, but now they are written down and illustrated and are THEIR VERY OWN CHORES instead of being something I came up with spur of the moment or had to recall from the fog that is my brain). And you know the biggest complaint – the chore that brought tears? Abraham, one of our four-year olds, got upset because I dumped the downstairs trash, showing him how I wanted it done. “I wanted to do it! That’s MY job! I can do that!” he sniffed. And no less than four times today, he reminded me, “I will do the trash tomorrow, not you, right?”

Right. It’s all yours, buddy.

Honeydew You Love Me?

  

Yes, and I love cantaloupe.

   

    

Just look at all that scrumptious dripping juice. Ethan sure does know how to pick 'em.

  

photo: part of this week's bounty from the Farmer's Market, carved and ready for Sunday fellowship

    

Sickness and Birthdays

Abraham came down with something Thursday night, shortly after his sleepy Superman picture. He started getting sick at 8:45 and then continued to get sick every half hour until about 11 or so. I went to bed, sure that I would be getting up too many times for a restful sleep; but fortunately, he slept until 6:30 AM or so when his sisters in the room above the boys' got up and were loud and woke him up.

Yesterday he spent looking pale and sickly. Lily has taken to being his nurse and makes sure he always has his bowl, cup, and appropriate blankets. She will put a movie on for him and stroke his head; and while I want to say, "NO! HE'S IN QUARANTINE!" I know the inevitable will happen no matter what (others will get sick), and I can't really help loving her loving him.

At first we weren't sure what was causing his retching, but now I'm pretty sure it's a virus.  We wondered if it was the shrimp we had Thursday night (when he was younger, he broke out when we had lobster) or the fact that he fell and hit his head on the rock steps earlier in the day (but I don't think that would cause him to still be throwing up, and his pupils are the same size, and he didn't knock himself out, etc.). But Monday I was sick with what I was sure was more than routine morning sickness -- I had even told Ethan, "I think I have a bug." And Ethan was a little off earlier in the week, too, so I think poor Abey has caught it. Although, truth be told, he is one of the best if one of them has to be sick. He uses his bowl, suffers quietly, and is altogether a sweetie.

I'm doing what I can to make him comfortable, but the challenge is getting him to keep anything down. While his bouts are getting farther apart, they are still ever-present and I'm not sure he has anything in him. All of his siblings raved about yesterday's egg-drop soup, but he was underimpressed, took less than three bites, and didn't keep that down. So today we will hit this head-on. My mother was telling me that when I was younger, my pediatrician had her give me 1/4 tsp. of ginger ale. After 15 minutes, if I kept it down, I got 1/2 tsp. And so on, doubling every 15-20 minutes. I remember this (and the extreme thirst and wanting to gulp it all down) and the ensuing hatred of ginger ale for years as just the thought of it made me feel sick. But Abraham loves ginger ale, and we have some of the real stuff with ginger, so we'll try. If he's up to it, we'll do some burnt toast. I've thought about picking up some activated charcoal from the health food store, which we should probably have on hand anyway . . .

I just hate when the kids are sick.
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In other news, today is my brother Daniel's 23rd birthday! He is celebrating it exactly as I imagine he would want to -- it is the last weekend before his close friends go back to their respective out-of-state colleges, and my parents are gone to a church family camp where there is no cell phone reception. So he will get no calls from Mom and Dad and gets to spend as much time as he wants with friends. Although OF COURSE he will get the obligatory "Happy Birthday Song" as performed by his Montana nieces and nephews, even if he refuses to answer the phone. There's always voicemail.

I wish I had a picture of him to share, but he is so doggone evasive when it comes to photos. I'll have to embarrass him later. He is so introverted that someone got him a black t-shirt with tiny white letters on the front spelling "introvert" and he gave it to Ethan because he was too embarrassed to wear it. You know who ended up with it? Me! I'm the only one not introverted enough to refuse to wear the shirt!

When we were younger, someone made the comment that if they were to have to divide us into teams, Hannah and David would be on one, and Daniel and I would be on the other (Becca wasn't born yet). I think it's still kind of this way. Although I am probably the least like all of my siblings (at least in interests, thinking ability -- my brain tires much sooner, etc.), Daniel and I share some similarities. I think he's dangerously funny. He has a dry, dry, dry wit that just cracks me up. He and my husband are a lot alike, and they actually enjoy each other's company. I love to hear them talk back and forth because they are just hysterical.

And, even with his extreme hatred of the cold and anything not Southern, Daniel co-drove the moving van all the way from Virginia to Montana ... sleeping in hotel rooms with "the guys" (Ethan and Ben and Abe) and our cats (whom he is very allergic to) ... in December. Yep, ice and snow from Ohio on. That's hero status in my book.

Happy Birthday, Daniel. We will call and we will sing. So answer already.

I'll Be Your Superman

    

Superman: I'm here to fight for truth, and justice, and the American way. 
Lois Lane: You're going to end up fighting every elected official in this country!  

        

     

I think the officials are safe. For tonight, anyway.

   

 

See? I told you they were quick

and now I have beautiful bullets.

   

I guess I really should get back to real life now.

   

Bummer.

  

 

I'm Not Computer-Savvy

and so I have no idea why suddenly I have � instead of bullets in my sidebar and at the bottom of the posts. But I have emailed support today, and they are usually pretty quick at responding and helping my clueless self out.
  
So if it's bugging you . . . I'm working on it!